Saturday, December 4, 2010

New baby announcement.

“The Womb Inc”

Earlier today President and owner of the The Womb, Deana announced that chief operating officer and occupant of The Womb, Regen Michelle Tannehill had been dismissed. “The Womb” President Deana had the following statement;

“During her tenure here in the Womb, we have seen remarkable growth in Regen. From the early stages of The Womb’s first project she has been a central figure. We have asked much, with Regen frequently dividing early in the projects’ course. While we are sad to see Regen leave The Womb, we have the warmest regards for her, and wish her the best in her future endeavors. Though she no longer occupies a position here at The Womb, she will always be a part of our family and we will give her whatever support we can.”

Regen came to the media spotlight last April, when she was announced to be the first occupant of The Womb, now a wholly owned subsidiary of Tannehill and Tannehill. Speculation at the time was that the decision to fill The Womb, especially with a girl, was a politically motivated move. This speculation has been widely denounced by Deana, “Sex never had anything to do with the decision, we were happy to have the most qualified person for the position, not the first person that applied.” Detractors point to the non-committal response from Chief Technical Officer of The Womb, Eric, who is widely quoted as backing up Deana saying, “Yes Dear”, as well as the abbreviated vetting process.

Regen came to the forefront again most recently in November, when her large weight gain was noted, again prompting media speculation as to a forthcoming diet plan and supposed guest appearance on Oprah, which never came about. While CTO Eric provided little insight with a perplexing non-sequitur of “Yes Dear”, President Deana at the time gave a press release;

“Regen’s weight gain should not be a matter of public speculation… It shows just how far our society still needs to come that a woman must contend with such frivolous matters as her weight, rather than be judged on her long list of incredible accomplishments.”

Still, media speculation abounds, with recent estimates from leaked photos putting Regen’s weight at 7lb 4oz while still only showing a height of 20.5”. While The Daily Squealer has a policy about photos of children, recently leaked and widely distributed photos make this policy unnecessary. The photo in the sidebar will show exactly where the media interest in Regen’s weight comes from as she has been coyly described as “A chubbums”.

The Daily Squealer attempted to reach Regen for further comment, however questions were only met with cute smiles, doe eyes, or vomiting respectively.

The dismissal from the Womb was effective at 6:19PM on Dec 4 2010.

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